so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
do herpes really smell.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
