Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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