i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
