Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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