return my video game
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
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