Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
