So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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