guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
it's like heaven, but drunker
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
