Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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