I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
