Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
third nipple confirmed
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?