you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear