dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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