I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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