I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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