Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
