I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize