i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
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I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
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I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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