i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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