who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
