Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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