I don't usually arrange sex via text message
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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