just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
