let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
