ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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