These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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