I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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