i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
