Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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