you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
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Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
dude. I can hear the air.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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