I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
