Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
