K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize