Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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