Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Houston, we have a squirter
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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