Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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