i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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