Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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