I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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