Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
