Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
