Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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