I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
