Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
