I seem to have left my pride at pride
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
