we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
