We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
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