my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
