You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My Higher Power is John Stamos
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
