HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
