he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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