One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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