I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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