Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I touched a dick in church today
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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