im drinking this country out of the recession.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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