garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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