...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
