"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
