His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
