I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
